So it has come down to it at last. The final nail in the coffin. The ending waltz on the dance floor. The last Pringle in the can. Or something. Either way, we have sworn in another president, we have upheld our particularly American brand of Democracy, and we are all certainly awaiting every politician to be taken into custody, executed, and then for Trump to rule forever. Q just has to be correct right? The track record is.... stunning? Pictured: Q at his computer, or something. Creator: Rembrandt | Credit: Hermitage Either way, our country has reached the dawning of a new administration. An event that has happened 45 previous times, and will undoubtedly happen many many more. But along the way, there was a bit of... discourse, if you could call it that. Most of it was spurned on by the greatest of all threats in this day and age, the Keyboard Warriors. Yes, this multi-class, 12th level, 5h Edition DnD champion has, for the last 5-6 years at least, had an alarmingly large a
Babies. Those cute little roly pollies of meat and drool; everyone loves them! People love them, dogs love them, bears love them... but no one loves them more than HEARTLESS CORPORATION NUMBER 87! Nope, not one person, animal or thing can possibly love those little future money spending humans more! This is why they are so invested in their health and well-being! Surely no money- er, good can come from letting these poor helpless creatures suffer right? This is why these heroic corporations must band together and stop one of the most dangerous threats to baby-kind the world has ever seen. They must stop the horror... known as breast feeding.... yeah its gonna be that blog post today. (ed note: Boobies.)
This spring in Geneva, Switzerland, the WHO (World Health Organization) met with over a hundred delegates from various nations around the world. Their goal was to sign a worldwide resolution about the importance of promoting breast feeding as the healthiest way of feeding a growing baby, and that all mothers should be given the care they need to insure that they could properly and safely feed their child in this way. It was expected to pass unanimously. I mean, why not? It has widely been confirmed that breast feeding is an important part of not only nourishing the baby in its most crucial months, but also further strengthening the bond that the mother and child have. That's not to say that alternatives are bad. Many mothers cannot adequately produce breast milk, and so must rely on formula or surrogates in order to feed the baby properly, however, by and large, this isn't seen as anything to look down upon, as the two methods have coexisted with little issues for YEARS. However, things don't always go that smoothly anymore.
Starting about 20 years ago, several formula manufacturers have begun to run add campaigns that spoke of the ills of breast feeding, how the baby is not getting vital nutrients that it needs to grow up strong and healthy, how THEIR baby formula's were the only way to ensure your child came out proper! Want your baby to be big and strong? FORMULA! Want your baby to know math before the other kids? FORMULA!! Want your child to develop regenerative powers that allows them to regrow limbs? Comic book radiation. Also, FORMULA!!! They even saddled some well payed doctors to promote this view, going so far as to say that breast feeding actually harmed the mental capacities of the child, because boobs are corrupting our children I guess. Never thought I'd see doctors so willing to throw out their scruples for big business just to get a quick buck. I almost said that with a straight face.
So now that the war on breast feeding had begun, people began to take sides. This was always going to be a messy issue, due to the fact that, in all actuality, baby formula is not unhealthy for them. It has all the nutrients that babies need, and is a completely okay substitute if need be. No one has argued that. But the bigger issue came when corporate greed got in the way of basic humanity. I imagine the meetings between the Legion of Doom went something along these lines: Why should women be ALLOWED to breast feed? Its downright disgusting I tell you! Taking her *gasp* breast out in public! For people to see! Why if shes not careful, passerby may actually see her nipple! How lewd! And the baby! Being subjected to such smut at that young impressionable age! Don't they know that nudity is a disgusting and reprehensible thing that no person should have to deal with until they are 18 or older?! No. Give this child Carnation Brand Baby Formula™! That's the only way to ensure you produce a healthy god-loving American baby! AND THE ROCKET'S RED GLAAAARE! Okay, so maybe not that mustache-twirlingly evil, but you get the gist. It was now in the best interest of the various lobbyists and corporate stooges to please their shareholders and push the anti-breast feeding agenda. All for the sake of selling baby formula.
And that's where we land today. As every country began to approve the measures set forth by the WHO, the United States, against all thoughts of reason and logic, began to argue against said resolution. Although they pushed forward with various pseudo-health issues about the matter, the other nations where not buying it, obviously seeing the fact that the US had taken the side of formula manufacturers over that of mothers. This came to a head once Ecuador, the official sponsor and first signatory of the resolution, refused to push for any changes, and was going to go forward with the motion. The US, in all its power and idiocy, began to threaten Ecuador into subservience, vowing to take away military and foreign aid, and creating trade tariffs, in order to browbeat them into shooting down the resolution. Ecuador, fearful of its nation being made enemies with the US, backed down. The WHO sought several other countries to sponsor the resolution, but many were smaller third world countries that also feared the wrath of the US. All hope was lost, until the Russians came along. (ed note: For crying out loud....)
The Russian delegation through their whole support behind the measure, and it was quickly signed. The US did not threaten Russia in this matter, and the resolution was passed at the end of the day. This is not to mean there was a victory here. That day, the US apposed nearly every resolution the WHO put forward, not just the breast feeding one. Among other measures that were stonewalled, if temporarily, where measures to introduce warning labels on several high sugar products around the world, removing the words "evidence-based" from several others, and overall, any measure that sought to promote health and wellness at the expense of manufacturers and corporations, saw the US causing trouble. At several points, the US even threatened to stop its contributions to the WHO, which would amount to an over $800 Million loss to the organization. The goal, was clear to all present. No longer was the US a sponsor of health worldwide, it was a sponsor for corporate greed.
These events, while certainly not isolated, have further proven the resolve of our country for the last couple of years. The world, and the people in it, do not matter. Money is what matters. Money and profit, at any expense. The fact that Russia, which is a WHOOOOLE other blog post, got to be the savior in this situation, further punctuates this fact. In the past, the US would have marched the resolution through the gates and made sure all in the world supported it, but now, we leave that duty to others; not because we are humble, but because we are greedy. We no longer value anything but the dollar, and we would see the world burn, all so that those at the top could profit from the ashes.
Starting about 20 years ago, several formula manufacturers have begun to run add campaigns that spoke of the ills of breast feeding, how the baby is not getting vital nutrients that it needs to grow up strong and healthy, how THEIR baby formula's were the only way to ensure your child came out proper! Want your baby to be big and strong? FORMULA! Want your baby to know math before the other kids? FORMULA!! Want your child to develop regenerative powers that allows them to regrow limbs? Comic book radiation. Also, FORMULA!!! They even saddled some well payed doctors to promote this view, going so far as to say that breast feeding actually harmed the mental capacities of the child, because boobs are corrupting our children I guess. Never thought I'd see doctors so willing to throw out their scruples for big business just to get a quick buck. I almost said that with a straight face.
So now that the war on breast feeding had begun, people began to take sides. This was always going to be a messy issue, due to the fact that, in all actuality, baby formula is not unhealthy for them. It has all the nutrients that babies need, and is a completely okay substitute if need be. No one has argued that. But the bigger issue came when corporate greed got in the way of basic humanity. I imagine the meetings between the Legion of Doom went something along these lines: Why should women be ALLOWED to breast feed? Its downright disgusting I tell you! Taking her *gasp* breast out in public! For people to see! Why if shes not careful, passerby may actually see her nipple! How lewd! And the baby! Being subjected to such smut at that young impressionable age! Don't they know that nudity is a disgusting and reprehensible thing that no person should have to deal with until they are 18 or older?! No. Give this child Carnation Brand Baby Formula™! That's the only way to ensure you produce a healthy god-loving American baby! AND THE ROCKET'S RED GLAAAARE! Okay, so maybe not that mustache-twirlingly evil, but you get the gist. It was now in the best interest of the various lobbyists and corporate stooges to please their shareholders and push the anti-breast feeding agenda. All for the sake of selling baby formula.
 |
| Look at that smug face. He's mocking us... |
And that's where we land today. As every country began to approve the measures set forth by the WHO, the United States, against all thoughts of reason and logic, began to argue against said resolution. Although they pushed forward with various pseudo-health issues about the matter, the other nations where not buying it, obviously seeing the fact that the US had taken the side of formula manufacturers over that of mothers. This came to a head once Ecuador, the official sponsor and first signatory of the resolution, refused to push for any changes, and was going to go forward with the motion. The US, in all its power and idiocy, began to threaten Ecuador into subservience, vowing to take away military and foreign aid, and creating trade tariffs, in order to browbeat them into shooting down the resolution. Ecuador, fearful of its nation being made enemies with the US, backed down. The WHO sought several other countries to sponsor the resolution, but many were smaller third world countries that also feared the wrath of the US. All hope was lost, until the Russians came along. (ed note: For crying out loud....)
The Russian delegation through their whole support behind the measure, and it was quickly signed. The US did not threaten Russia in this matter, and the resolution was passed at the end of the day. This is not to mean there was a victory here. That day, the US apposed nearly every resolution the WHO put forward, not just the breast feeding one. Among other measures that were stonewalled, if temporarily, where measures to introduce warning labels on several high sugar products around the world, removing the words "evidence-based" from several others, and overall, any measure that sought to promote health and wellness at the expense of manufacturers and corporations, saw the US causing trouble. At several points, the US even threatened to stop its contributions to the WHO, which would amount to an over $800 Million loss to the organization. The goal, was clear to all present. No longer was the US a sponsor of health worldwide, it was a sponsor for corporate greed.
 |
| Ohhhh yeah! Cliches.... |
These events, while certainly not isolated, have further proven the resolve of our country for the last couple of years. The world, and the people in it, do not matter. Money is what matters. Money and profit, at any expense. The fact that Russia, which is a WHOOOOLE other blog post, got to be the savior in this situation, further punctuates this fact. In the past, the US would have marched the resolution through the gates and made sure all in the world supported it, but now, we leave that duty to others; not because we are humble, but because we are greedy. We no longer value anything but the dollar, and we would see the world burn, all so that those at the top could profit from the ashes.
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