Often Lonely, Never Alone

An often repeated saying is "You are not alone." Its been repeated ad nauseam for years by a vast number of people. So much so, that it tends to lose some meaning towards the people that need it the most. So why is it such a redundant statement that we feel we need to reiterate so many times? There are over 6 Billion people on earth, of course we aren't alone. I go to work, have friends, have family. Of course I'm not alone. We are probably 10 years or so from being visited by aliens which might-not-go so-good-but-hey-whatever-yolo (ed note: Hail Xenu.) so yeah, not alone.... So why do we FEEL so alone at times?

Its often true that we struggle with loneliness. Whether it be from actually being alone, or from feeling like we have no one to relate or interact with, loneliness is endemic to society. We are a social animal, we dislike being without anyone by our side for very long, and so, seek comfort in groups, in relationships, in people. But is it always like that? You hear about people who traipse off into the wilderness and live out there for years; solitary, peaceful. But are they really alone? They have the company of nature, of a planet filled to the bring with living things that speak so softly you have to be silent to hear them. These people, are not alone.

You also hear of those who suffer within. They are surrounded by people who know and love them, and may seem like they are fine on the outside, smiling, laughing, but are suffering and deeply lost on the inside. These people are the ones who know what loneliness feels like at its core. Its not a lack of contact, its a lack of being. A thousand people could be surrounding them, and yet they would feel like the only person in the room. Whether from a medical issue, or from a mental one, depression cuts us off from what we hold dearest; connection with others and the world around us. Often times those who suffer this way do so in silence. They put on a happy public face, may even hang out or go to parties, but they do not absorb any of this. This is for appearances. Their mind takes them to dark places that dwell on our deepest insecurities. 'Will I have enough money to survive, will I make a good impression, will I get good grades, will I make my parents proud, will I be accepted for who I am, will I find someone who loves me?' These thoughts are a hallmark of what it is to be lonely. The feeling that no matter what you do, who you are, you are never good enough for life.

In recent news, we've had two major people unfortunately commit suicide due to battling demons few knew they had. Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain had lives that many could only dream of. Kate designed and developed her own clothing lines, handbags, fragrances, etc, and she made herself into a multi-millionaire through hard work and perseverance, showing that you can accomplish your dreams no matter how large. Anthony traveled the world, ate the best and most exotic foods and drink, met the most interesting people humanity had to offer, and made a living writing, filming and simply talking about his experiences. These two people were VASTLY successful, had people who loved and cherished them worldwide, and inspired millions to follow their dreams and make the world their own. And yet, both ended their lives. They were surrounded by those who thought they knew them, but they felt they were alone.

These things are not easy to understand. They are not an easily diagnosed symptom that happens in every person beat for beat. They hit us like a Mack truck and refuse to stop dragging us down. They cause us to do things that are irrational, against everything we stand for. One moment you could be watching your favorite movie, enjoying it. Then the pain comes. You think on all the things wrong with your life, all the things left unsaid. You become uneasy, trying to push these feelings away, but being unable to. You pace, you cry, you want to scream out and make them all go away. And once you finally come to your senses, your standing on a chair with a rope around your neck wondering how it all came to this. You step down, bottle up your feelings and try to live your life as you did before, but you are horrified at what you've become. You know you need help, but you don't know who can or how. But the truth is simple. You are not alone.

Millions go through what you do. All of them have their stories. From personal experience, I know what the feelings are. What they do to you. They break you down until you feel you can't go on. But you do. You do because survival in an intrinsic value that we all have. We want to survive, we want to do good, to make our lives better, and more meaningful. And we will. We will all strive for the greatness within us. Some may stumble along the way, and some may not make it to the end, but we all are on the same path through life. And we are not alone. We are holding hands, leaning on each other, picking each other up when we are down. Because we are not alone. 

So call your parents, talk to you siblings, check up on your grandparents, speak to your friends, make sure they are all well and good and making it through their lives, because we all have our own struggles, our own demons to contend with. There is no one true answer to solve all the problems, but we can always help each other by being there. I am blessed to have a girlfriend who loves me and is there for me every step of the way, shining the light when i'm too weak to do so myself. I have parents who do everything in their power to give me a life that they think I deserve, and are happy when they see me genuinely smile. I have a family and friends who encourage me to do better, to do what I want with my life, and help me along the way. I am not alone, and neither are any of you. 

There are a great many things to be scared of in this world. A great many obstacles. But those who are frightened of what lies ahead, but push through nonetheless, those are the ones who are truly brave, truly have courage. And they will always extend a hand back, so that they may help others through the same fears they once had. Help each other. Be good to one another. Be there for one another. That is how we get through life. We can't get through it without people by our side. But thankfully, we don't have to.

You are never alone. 
1-800-273-8255.